Episode 11 with Adra Young

This week, I spoke with Adra Young, founder of Ardannyl. Adra is an educator, speaker and author focusing on building connections through creativity. She has over 24 years of educational experience and is passionate about creating space for students. We speak about her experiences and strategies for building connections with students and strategies for implementing in the classroom.

You can find out more about Adra's work at @Ardannyl on Twitter. 

Transcript

Heather Woods: 0:00

Hello and welcome. You're listening to the SEL in action podcast podcast where we discuss social and emotional learning in educational and professional settings. I'm your host Heather Woods. And today we're speaking with Adra Young educator, speaker and author, and owner of Ardynnal, where they believe that putting youngsters on track through encouragement and guidance, so they provide social skills training and bullying prevention training for both students and teachers. So thank you so much for being here. I'm so excited to speak with you. Feel free to add anything to the introduction.

Adra Young: 0:43

There you did just right. I mean, that was a great introduction made me feel good.

Heather Woods: 0:50

Oh, good.

Adra Young: 0:52

Sending SEL love to Canada because I am in the United States. Yes. So thank you, thank you for the opportunity to share with our Canadian community nation.

Heather Woods: 1:09

Thank you so much for, you know, reaching out and speaking with me today, I'm really excited to speak with you. You have so much experience over 24 years worth of educational experience and working directly with social emotional learning. So tell me a little bit about how kind of you got into, you know, your own learning of social emotional learning and seeing the need for it in our schools?

Adra Young: 1:40

Well, I started teaching, I'm just gonna have to tell people yes, I started in 1995, that eager beaver, Heather, going in with that Kate ready to save a kid. And that those academic goals accomplish and achieve and in my world, it was just going to be a happy, happy thing. In addition to I had some amazing professors at a historical black institution, university, Central State University, who I felt prepared me for that. Well, they say the best experience is hands on. And yes, I did that student teaching component, but nothing compared to me actually. Starting with my classroom, no more college. Maybe a mentor from time to time, but this is it. And yeah, make it work. And as I noticed, as the years went by, I began to see all my this is something I wanted to do as a kid, okay, I had those teddy bears. I had those dolls in that chalkboard, and I was spelling words, and those math problems. This is something that I really wanted to do, only to find out into the game. Uh, after doing several years, I'm like, I my staff morale is not, which should be, I'm not feeling it. I think I may want to go into another profession. And I'm going to be just transparent. I really did not like the children that that were placed in front of me daily. And that was something that I love children. Okay. Something that I always wanted to do. I'm the eldest. So I, in my heart of heart, I felt that I had that nurturing component in place. So what I started to see together was the following, taunting, cursing, physical assaults. Ongoing is why I began to feel helpless about well, how do I deal with this? Because to me, suspension, and the detention weren't getting it. It was almost like with a detention factor, they want it to go and I'm like, are they having a party in the detention? What is going on? But the tension is supposed to teach a lesson was to be uncomfortable so that you can grow from the situation so that if you don't do it again, most likely, you won't do it as often? And why the detention not working? suspension, okay, they're coming back the repeated offenses, but the root of the source has not been addressed or tackle. Mm hmm. And so that's when I got into reflecting as an educator. And this is something that all of us can do. I did not invent this, but I went home because I had that classified paper. Okay, looking for jobs. But I did some reflection. Heather, can I said to myself, What can I do? I'm at my wit's end. So I took a categorical risk. And so I took a data of the kids that I was servicing, who had exhibited the worst behaviors, and the most detention, the multiple times, but detention, and I invited that bunch to come and have lunch with me. Heather, to my surprise, the response I thought I would get was, oh, Lady kick a rock. No, it's how much time now, to my surprise, Heather, they were like, Well, what do we have to lose? Okay. And so we'll get back to that, because that's the creative perspective that I want to address. But then I began with me saying, I want to eat together. You know, come on with me. And let's see what's going on? And they said, Yes.

Heather Woods: 5:52

Yes, amazing. Yeah. And it's, you know, it seems so complex when you're in that moment, and you're overwhelmed. And it's just that small gesture of you want to eat lunch together. Like it's such a simple step, but it has such an impact, right, and to really formed those connections. With your students, it goes such a long, long way. So yeah, that's thank you for so much for sharing that.

Adra Young: 6:23

So we'll get back to that. But I know Yes. addressed bullying. Yeah.

Heather Woods: 6:29

Well, you mentioned kind of these, like aggressive behaviors and everything. And so what are you finding? Like, are the skills that are really helping students to kind of, you know, think through bullying? Or, you know, teachers in preventing bullying? What, what are you finding it? And what are some of the strategies maybe that you're sharing with folks.

Adra Young: 6:54

So I'm just gonna say these few words, knowledge is power. And these are some things all of us can identify. As I mentioned, prior to this interview, beginning Heather school is about to start here and some areas in the United States, I'm in Indiana, so I'm in the Midwest. And so where I'm based now, the kids come back to school, actually, August 10, which is really right around the corner, per se. Mm hmm. What we want to look for are the size and indicators of a bully kid. And all that takes is just simply paying close attention. In particular, to the kid that seems totally emotional lis, empty state, no expression, not responding or reacting, just there. Those are the children in my opinion, that we really need to take a close look at simply because if they're emotionless, and expression, expressionless, those are the babies that we unfortunately read about who either made attempts to take themselves out, or they've actually done so. And so we need to be on the lookout for those too quiet kids, and not assume that they're just good children, or quiet children, though, why is this kid not socializing? Why are that wise? What is this blank stare about? What's going on with them? And so I just want to get into the signs and indicators real quick. heathered again, it's probably we probably all have been doing it but just we need to take a deeper look at it and observe it more. Hmm, what I want to adjust address Excuse me, is that kid that we see the 360 in that behavior. Kid love school. This kid was the he never met a stranger. This kid was the life of the classroom, and all of us that this child is redrawing. The academics may have taken the decline. school is not that safe haven fun, sacred space anymore. No Kid made more to be addressed or observed more because that is one of the sides of AB bully kid. A kid used to be on top of their game academically, socially, who no longer wants to be a part of that or has just shut down Hmm, let's talk about another type of kid Heather. That's the kid that they're fine. Come Friday, but Sunday night that everything hurts. They're sick. Okay, yeah. From my nose to my eyelash, any kind of ailment. They're sick. Studies show that children who are bully don't have the courage always to admit to their parents. Boy. So what would they do? Heather, they'll fake an illness. Hopefully that illness comes on Sunday. Okay, go one Monday. And they don't want to deal with that. Mm hmm. Okay. And so again, we've talked about if the grades were good, and they no longer want to be involved in school activities, or if they just, you know, the 360 factor, the student that plays ill. student that totally shuts down, who used to love to be involved with their community and do things, but they no longer want to be around people. Mm hmm. So those are just three indicators there, for sure, which you could identify with kids. But in particular, for those rookie educators, and those teachers coming in, be on the lookout for that too quiet kid who you may actually not pay attention to who can kind of get lost in the theme of things when you're teaching?

Heather Woods: 11:44

Yeah, yeah, we've often talked to teacher like candidates here. And just when we were talking about, you know, how do we identify bullying, it comes back to the relationship, right? And really being attuned to those behavior changes, those social changes, those little things that start to go off. And so, you know, I've recommended people, you know, start a journal at the end of the day and be like, something just seemed off. So then you're kind of triggered to, okay, I need to pay attention to Little Johnny or, you know, Kim, or whoever. So yeah, it's so like, important to really have that just explicit attention that you're kind of paying attention to those social dynamics that are happening. Thank you so much for sharing that.

Adra Young: 12:38

Absolutely.

Heather Woods: 12:39

And so brings us to the the meat of it all. How do you build those connections?

Adra Young: 12:47

Well, I'm gonna tell you how I built that one connection that I left you in a cliffhanger moment for perfect. It started off as us coming together, and classroom eating together. Other I didn't say anything, I just kind of sat back and roll with the flow. The first day, not so much action, everyone staring. But they began to make the connection, as you just mentioned, for some reason, and I guess it was just all aligning. They knew the commonality, or the connection was that they had track records of not so good behavior, and knew that. And so let's get into as it progressed, we came up with our own in house rules. In other words, what goes on at lunch bunch stays and much, much. It will not attack and judge other people's situations. We will learn to listen from an empathetic standpoint, and I hope the overall goal is to become a little family unit. Hmm. by surprise, Heather. I'm thinking maybe they won't want to come back. They were like, hey, Miss young or miss Robbins at one point. What's up with lunch bunch? Are we gonna have it? We bring in our lunch. Are we coming? And I'm like, yeah, we're coming.

Heather Woods: 14:36

If you're here for it, we're doing it.

Adra Young: 14:38

Okay. And so the safe space was the fact that what goes on in here, space in here. But let's talk about the reality of when they begin to reveal some of the things that were taking place with them. Which result they responded and reacted the way that they did, Heather Some things were just out of my educational licensure and league. And so was certain things hit that point. For job purposes. I did have to invite the behavior specialists, social worker, Counselor, or whatever you may call it, depending on where you're from. those situations were revealed amongst us. And that trust was built in that courage hit, the kid had the courage to rebuild it, and I'm like, oh, man, yeah, we've kind of sorted out to get this situation over to other powers. so that it can be documented. We don't want to get in trouble. I'm not I am a social skills provider. But I'm not a behavior specialist. And so we had some of those situations where we did have to, because the kid indicated that it was really unappropriate. And we got them the help that they need it. But for the most part, Heather, it's great, because kids just started reflecting on really how it really had a lot to do with them. So there were things going on at home, too much responsibility. Not enough sleep, all those factors came into play. But students admitted to it like, Look, I was tired. The kids said one thing to me and I let them have it verbally. I've got one kid. And he was actually his situation and we'll get to that was wrote in my very first book called The everyday living of children and teens, monologues, student X. Student x came to school Monday, a simple joke was made to him. And he knocked the kid straight to the ground. I'm like, Ah, oh, is the opportunity to talk he was suspended. Okay. But when we got him back, and I'm like, why, baby What? Why? His father promised him Friday, that he was coming. They were going in here cuz together as parents aren't together that then show Friday that promised the show Saturday. This young man could not remove himself from the window and hopes that he was going to pull up. He didn't show Saturday. He didn't show Sunday. So this young person, well, all of that hurt school on Monday. Okay. And so it didn't take much more. He was already at his breaking point for him to do something inappropriate. And so we began to talk about both kinds of things. Yes, you were hurt. And we listened. Yes. You did get into a fight. Yes, maybe that joke was not the most sensitive joke. However, you knocked him out. Could we had solved this problem in another kind of way. And we begin to have those talks now. Let's get into the creative part. They actually began to write their ordeals down.

Heather Woods: 18:40

Oh, fantastic.

Adra Young: 18:41

Women acted out. drama.

Heather Woods: 18:44

Yeah.

Adra Young: 18:45

So that's where the creativity came in. Heather, that student that waited for his that show, along with the other students. They wrote out their ordeals and turned them to act a skits and for those who are not aware of drama a little bit, we call those skits that people audition with monologues. These kids wrote their situations, and they acted it out in front of lunch bunch. And everyone from lunch bunch listened and gave constructive criticism. And then the students wrote down self reflection. And it when I say it became the biggest thing since sliced bread kids who didn't exhibit behavior issues. Heather wanted to become a part of lunch. Make sure it did. Did it resolve everything? Absolutely not. That those kids get continue to get in trouble. Sure they did. Did we see a decrease every day. Your issues don't do to this. Yes. Then go suspension reduce. Yes. Did verbal altercations reduced? Yes. And so a very successful thing. I look forward to implementing it this year, coming back from COVID. And so I'm pretty sure again, Heather, I didn't invent the wheel. But just simply, do you want to eat lunch, and just letting things go with the flow. And then two, we started writing these things. And I'm like, I have to write a book on this. And so I that was my first real nonfiction book, based upon the real lives of kids that had come in contact with to make a long story short, those kids, they saved me from leaving teaching. I'm like, wow, just doing this with you guys. I had fallen back in love with the one thing I love as a six year old, you're talking to the teddy bears and the dog? Yeah.

Heather Woods: 21:12

Yeah, that's, it's so amazing. Just that simple invitation built such a community, right? where the students felt safe. But you also felt that community in that connection, and it was for the betterment of you, as you said, like they saved you, and your passion for teaching. You know, and I think that's one thing that we often forget, when we talk about social emotional learning, it's to the students, but there's this bi directional connection and learning and everything that goes along with it between us and the students. And, you know, the other adults and whoever you might have involved, and I think, you know, it, the fact that you're able to bring others supports in as needed, I think, really speaks to, you know, I think that's one of the things that worries people about building this type of community, right is, what if something comes up that I can't deal with those out of my wheelhouse out of my expertise? So I think that you said it really well, you said that we built that trust. And then we were able to bring these people in to make sure the students had the supports that they need.

Adra Young: 22:37

Absolutely do so vital. But then we can also talk about, like I said, a lot of us if you're been teaching, a lot of us are implementing social emotional learning, and we don't even know it, Heather, exactly, terminology. And so without even identifying the competencies that we utilize here in the state of Indiana, what this bridge created, the connection, connection is a component or a competency of social emotional learning that, you know, the students want it to redirect their thinking, so they get better. The regulation, the self check on the emotions, have the courage to say, hey, yeah, I did this. We have the courage to receive constructive criticism from the same peers who connect with you. Their behavior is not the best thing either. Now, critical thinking, you know, and the Big C collaboration, Oh, my goodness. All these things that make up with SEL is about what's taking place. Yeah, you just have to take out the checkoff sheet. Understand the term. like okay, that is connection. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Hey, that is connection. Yeah. Once you understand what it means, and you begin to build any creative thing, it may not be drama, it could be art, it could be singing, some hands on STEM tied into creativity, whatever it is, if you understand the meaning of the competencies, and you go edit consistently, you can't go wrong.

Heather Woods: 24:37

Yeah, yeah. And I think the whole creative process really empowers the students, really, I mean, it provides them a voice that maybe they haven't felt like they've had, like, you know, student x, who, you know, is just sitting waiting for his dad. Suddenly he has a voice to share his experience and his feelings about it. In that safe space, that's it's truly empowering and remarkable. And yeah, I think, you know, sharing these stories, because as you said, so many educators are doing these types of things, we just haven't slapt the title on it. And it's a question that I've kind of grappled with lately about whether it needs such a title. But, um, I think, you know, we are doing these things in our, in our classrooms, and it's, you know,

Adra Young: 25:34

just yeah, and here's another thing, don't take another job, take piece by piece. If you're in a great level chair category, when and if you all plan together, or maybe the great level chair as a whole was not ready for it suggest that everybody in that group, let's work on for five minutes, before we get into anything else today. What connection means, before you start your lesson, make that do now, you know, because teachers feel so overwhelmed, and we are overworked. And we are stressed. And we need to do self regulation, SEL for ourselves. Okay, relations, so that we're not at our breaking point. And so start small, hey, what if we worked on this just one component for a month? and mastered that? Yeah, we can talk about what's working with it and what's not working with it, you know, let's not make it to the point where it has to be a total additional lesson plan. Yes. Or another work of put another hour added on to your day doing it. You know, say that, you know, the best way to eat an elephant is one bite at a time. That's how you do it. And I believe if you do it, it's such way you retain it better that way, instead of overwhelming your thing about everything about social emotional learning, and not touching it again, let's do a piece. Now let's move on to that critical thinking piece. Yeah, what lessons and activities five minutes in to do now or activity can work. Let me tell you that I also forgot to tell you that our mindset with the lunch nunch Heather we just did a minute of meditation said is a competency of social emotional learning. Now we know in this digital age with Gen Z children, okay? Generation X lady here, I'm not even a millennial generation X. I am a baby boomer, we know that Gen Z children are the children per se, are tech savvy. The attention is not there and is probably declined even more. So due to COVID. What we would do is a minute go to you to get you a song. Without Words with no lyrics. Let it play one minute, 60 seconds, close your eyes. And when you're young people or your babies or young adults are coming in on 10. break them down. All right, I can see like, what if I would have thought to do meditation with kid x during that time? I didn't. I'm not gonna say that I didn't know better, but I didn't have the research on it. And so but the difference is now I can do it with these kids. Now. You're coming in here? What upset about whatever happened at home or whatever happened in school or what a kid said to you or the teacher? You're not agreeing with what the teacher wants you to do, per se. Let's get our minds right. That's not I wanted off and I have become place. Take deep breaths. It works. It works. Yeah. I've even had kids tell me Hey, we do a meditation first. Team. Yeah, regular. What I love about big kids is if you continue to demonstrate it to them, you can sit back and watch those young sharp people do it. Now I'm like, Yeah, I can sit back. And I can be the facilitator. Yeah, like learning and growing with among yourselves as it relates to social emotional learning. Yeah.

Heather Woods: 29:50

And it's like said we don't know what the students are bringing to the classroom, right. So it just takes that moment to, you know, have a moment And breathe and get get into the learning mindset to, you know, be able to do your best that day or, you know, be able to put that what you might be feeling aside to dive in with your friends and, you know, get into the exciting mess of learning, I think when students are coming in with so much weighing on them, it's really hard for them to get excited to be in that place and learn with their friends and colleagues. So thank you for sharing the kind of taking that little moment to reset a little bit at the start of the day. It's something I keep hearing, and I think we're onto something here.

Adra Young: 30:49

And maybe, if not the music, just a minute of quiet, close your eyes. Here's something else, I had an aha moment presenting for the social emotional learning symposium last week with the state of Indiana. Some people have either run from meditation because they think it's a form of religion. So with and I had an aha moment, one of the directors was like, hey, some people think it's a religion thing. And I'm like, I'm so glad that you said that, because we want everyone to know that. No, it's not a religious thing. But it can be okay. Practicing Buddhism, we're not practicing anything we're practicing and focusing on a healthy state of mind. That is never, you know, it per se. I'm pretty sure everyone in all religions, no matter what it is, you want to help the state of mind regardless. And so as individuals to know, if you use meditation, please know that if schools are using it, it is not to implement a specific type of religion.

Heather Woods: 32:02

Mm hmm. Yeah, I know, up here we have the public system and then the Catholic system. And they're funded separately. And so I've spoken with many teachers in the Catholic system, and that they'll do prayerful moments as kind of that resetting moment where they just have a moment to themselves and kind of clear their heads and, you know, speak to God or whomever they might want to. But yeah, they often say like, that's how we've adapted the mindful meditation moment to kind of a Catholic system. So it's been quite interesting to see how people are accepting it. Yeah, embracing it. And you know what? adapting it?

Adra Young: 32:56

Yeah, we know what the public sector, we have to kind of leave. And I'm so glad you brought that up. That's good to know, you know, and the public sector, you know, that you have to kind of leave religion out of it. With the private institutions, you know, the religion aspect is very much so embrace, because that's what is built upon. So I'm speaking from the public school perspective, because that's the only setting I've taught. You know, yeah. What you didn't know whether your kid is Catholic Baptists, Muslim, Israelite, Jewish. Meditation is not about we're not doing it to practice any various type of is a calming mechanism.

Heather Woods: 34:04

Yeah, and I think, as you said, like, it's a healthy mind, right? It's just being able to quiet the mind and reconnect with yourself. I think that, you know, especially talking about, you know, the Gen Z, or whatever we're at now. I'm one of the older millennials, so it's hard to keep track. But, you know, they don't have that ability necessarily to quiet their mind. I know, I've spoken to adults in my graduate courses, who say like, they're probably 10-15 years younger than I am but saying they don't know how to just quiet their mind and be in that moment. They're like, what do you mean you use you just stand in a line that was like, yeah, go to the bank and stand in a line. That's What we do, you know, and you just take a moment to check in with yourself or notice what's around you, it's those little moments right of just connecting to yourself and the world around you has so much of a positive impact on your mental well being.

Adra Young: 35:18

I've mentioned the blog, an empty teacher cannot pour into a thirsty student, myself, and Professor instructor cannot pour until a thirsty student. You have to be mentally stable so that you can give your students via preschool, elementary, intermediate middle school, high school, and yes, higher learning, you know, what you're currently doing? your very best, you know, and that's why those self regulation checks for educators are so important, you know, you want to make sure your, your mental health is okay. You know, sometimes it's okay to say, hey, I need to do a check with me, because I'm just a little off. So yeah, even though we're talking about bullying and socio emotional learning as it relates to our kids, we got to remember, we also want the healthy teachers, perfect service providers to have a good frame, my frame of mind so that they can important to our students. So that yeah, that we've got productive citizens to society, whatever they choose to do. Yeah.

Heather Woods: 36:45

And I think that is so important. And I appreciate that you brought that up, just we need to have healthy supported teachers. And they need to have these skills. And I tell my students all the time that okay, yes, because I teach one course, that's, you know, broadly social emotional learning, but then the other one is adult specific. And they keep wanting to do projects for their students as like, but you need to make sure that you're confident in your own skills, because that's the biggest thing that we're finding is teacher saying, I support social emotional learning. But I don't feel like my skills are up to par. So how am I supposed to model it? So be honest, I'm glad you know.

Adra Young: 37:36

I last year, COVID hit and it hit hard. I just don't have research. And so the cons of COVID hidden is that from a social perspective, when people it was very limited or none, for the pro of it was that everybody had to get on board with virtual online learning tutorials activities I took for myself, not the kids or anyone else. a free course and I'm pretty sure, Heather, they have them there. It was called The Science of Happiness to our are you doing as the educator and let me tell you, wonderful, free. It was you could pace it, you didn't have a specific time that it had to be done. When I say it made me look at some things. I was like, Wow, I didn't even think about it like that. Or, you know, just studies show that teachers aren't getting enough sleep. It's best that when you go to sleep, that everything is sound. lis and some of us go to sleep with our cell phones under our pillows. On the music's on, lights are on and so I don't you know, that's just an example of, you know, healthy you need that sleep that good. That can have you ready for the following day and your job. But yeah, yeah.

Heather Woods: 39:25

No, I think that, you know, you've touched on so many things. And, you know, we've almost come full circle because he started speaking about how, you know, your teaching almost led to burnout and then that kind of, you know, created this space where, you know, you were seeing your students in a different light and we brought that community together. And I think, you know, providing future candidates providing teachers with, you know, this knowledge of, you know, finding these creative ways to connect with students finding ways to engage agents, social emotional learning for teachers and students, you know, can have such a huge impact on, you know, perhaps delaying that burnout, or helping, you know, provide support, so that they they aren't burning out, and that sort of thing. So I think it really kind of brings us full circle, and, you know, the impact and importance of connection and community, particularly, like, as you were saying, like, work with your head teachers work with your department teachers, you know, finding little ways to kind of implement it. So I really appreciate that. Certainly. And, you know, the impact that the lunch group has had is just fantastic. I really look forward to hearing more about that. You know, you continue it once, after COVID. I think that, you know, students are probably start for that connection right now. So it'll be really great to see, you know, once things start up in a month or so for y'all down there, it'll be really, really great. So I appreciate that. Any kind of final thoughts on social emotional learning, or building creative connections?

Adra Young: 41:22

No, I just want to say I really appreciate the opportunity. If you would need me to come back at another data time to provide information to some of your forthcoming perspective educators, I would love to do that. Fantastic with this. The greatest exercise in the world is to bend down, stick your hand out and pull someone else up soundly. And I thank you so much, Heather, for having me on today.

Heather Woods: 41:57

Thank you so much a Adra, I so appreciate you taking the time today. And you know, working around our different time zones, and everything. So I appreciate it. So so much. Thank you. It's been an absolute pleasure. And to everyone listening. Thank you so much for joining us today. Feel free to reach out to Adra, or myself. her contact information for Twitter will be in the show notes. And feel free to leave us your comments on what we talked about today about building community building connection with our students and the huge impact that it can have for the wellbeing of our students and ourselves as educators. Thank you so much, and we look forward to talking to you again on SEL in Action. Have a great day. Bye